Kratzke: August 2016

Tuesday, 26 Jul 16: Contemporary Resort
Last year when we arrived at the BoardWalk Inn, I was walking on sunshine. Quaint shops were perfectly assorted on a spotless strip of scenery, straight from a chalk pastel landscape and into my vacation. The scene was filled with ice cream, street entertainment, beaches, manicured walkways, and a breeze that ever so gently broke the warmth of the golden rays descending from a flawlessly blue sky.
It's not that I don't like the Contemporary Resort with its terrible elevator music, low ceilings, ugly carpets, and awkward layout. And it's not that I don't get the fact that it was built 45 years ago when everybody and their mother smoked like it was cool, and permeated every environment with a second hand stench. It's just a different feeling when you arrive somewhere, are kept waiting for your room for 3 hours, and get a phone call from the lab at home saying that you have a MRSA infection on the open wounds on your areolas. And you need to find a way to get on antibiotics. And your baby probably shouldn't have any breast milk, so while you're in Orlando, you might want to find a magic lamp to materialize a wealth of infant formula and a breast pump. Needless to say, I had a mild panic attack and cried by the side of the pool with my luggage and a few cups of cold complimentary spa water. It could have been worse. I could have accidentally ruined the surprise for my mom and mentioned that my sister was coming. Oh, wait, that happened too.
Dinner was at the California Grill, which is a fancy restaurant at the very top (15th floor) of the resort. The food was nothing to complain about, but the waiter was a real pain in the ass. The menu was one page long, and this guy felt the need to "highlight" outloud by the side of our table. I'm sure his services are most welcome for all the illiterate customers who find themselves up there, not knowing what to do with a menu. He poured the beers Mom and George ordered slowly enough for me to grind a few layers of enamel off my molars, and the real kicker was that I couldn't drown my own sorrows in a brew or two. You know, because of the antibiotics.
Fun fact: Breast milk containing the antibiotic bactrim isn't recommended for infants less than or equal to two months of age, but Milli should be just fine. That particular panic attack was somewhat unnecessary.

Ariel Suit

Water Dragon

The Main Pool

Contemporary Resort Greenery

Wednesday, 27 Jul 16: Animal Kingdom & Magic Kingdom
George woke up early for his conference, and the rest of us headed straight to the Animal Kingdom. I was so excited to take my baby girl on her first ride. No sooner had we stepped into an adorable giant turquoise triceratop than Milli expressed her apathy towards the TriceraTop Spin and very clearly demanded milk. Breastfeeding was excruciating, but she won the argument. Distracted and suffering, I left my phone in the seat when the ride ended, and then the four of us were off to Kilimanjaro Safaris. Once we were well situated in line, we realized my phone was missing, and Mom went off to find it with no success. She rode Primeval Whirl while I called George on her phone, nearly hysterical from the breastfeeding pain and the stress of Milli screaming at me all morning. He came to the Animal Kingdom right away.
I don't know what I'd do without George. He found my phone immediately by tracking it down with an app and bullying the people at TriceraTop Spin until they reluctantly forked it over. He took Milli from me and she stopped screaming. He told me that she can't have everything she wants right now, and that I needed to take care of myself. At that point, the day, or rather the entire trip, really turned around. Because George never got to see Drakeson brush the goats last year, we took the Wildlife Express Train to the Affection Section, and Drakeson brushed many a goat indeed. Just like last year, he was enamored with all the animals, and we saw several more on the Pangani Forest Exploration Trail. Mom and I hopped on the short singles line for Expedition Everest on our way to Finding Nemo - The Musical. This was Drakeson's third year seeing the flying puppeteers, and he loved it as much as ever. Just before naps, we headed to the magnificent sculpture and centerpiece of the park, the Tree of Life, to catch the show It's Tough to be a Bug!
At the Magic Kingdom, we used all our fastpasses for the 40" height requirement roller coasters: Splash Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, and the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train. We had time to squeeze in Mickey's PhilharMagic and the Prince Charming Regal Carrousel between the last two, which gave Drakeson a little bit of a break, as he did not care for roller coasters one bit. I had fashioned shoe inserts from extra foam flooring to ensure Drakeson's height would clear 40", and forced him onto all of those rides for reasons unknown even to me. Each time we took any ride with a height requirement, one of us stayed behind to hold Milli, and in return, we were issued a rider switch pass for 3 guests. We pocketed the three passes to save for Liên's visit, and barely had enough time to catch the Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover before dinner at Cinderella's Royal Table in Cinderella Castle. We had never ridden the PeopleMover, which is a guided tour of Tomorrowland, and we had certainly never had dinner in the castle with Cinderella, Snow White, Aurora, Ariel, and Jasmine before. Drakeson worked up the courage to propose to Ariel, and I was very proud of him. "Will you please, please, please marry me?" was quite a bit more romantic than what his father did seven years ago. From our seats in the third floor of the castle, we were able to see the fireworks display, Wishes Nighttime Spectacular, and it was beautiful.
The night could have ended there, but instead, we headed to the familiar Under the Sea - Journey of The Little Mermaid. The last ride with a 40" height requirement in the park was Stitch's Great Escape!, so Mom, Drakeson, and I gave it a try. The experience bored Mom to tears and made Drakeson want to cry as well, so we may skip that one next time. With less than an hour to go, we watched the Main Street Electrical Parade and ended the night with Drakeson's favorite ride, Pirates of the Caribbean. We left a few minutes past midnight.

Tree of Life

Mama & Babies

Primeval Whirl

Sleeping Hippo

Watching a Sleeping Hippo

Chip 'n' Dale

Affection Section

Zootopia

Rafiki

Please hold onto the rails while the vehicle is in motion.

Carrousel

Bà

PeopleMover

Pete's Dragon

Thursday, 28 Jul 16: Epcot, Magic Kingdom, & Animal Kingdom
We slept in just long enough to meet Liên at the resort, and George made it out of his conference in time to join us for a short visit to Epcot. We started with The Seas with Nemo & Friends and marveled at the aquarium in SeaBase. Next, we caught one of George's favorite rides, Living with the Land, and headed to a new show, the Disney & Pixar Short Film Festival. Journey Into Imagination With Figment was next door, so we hopped on before seeing the 4D versions of Get a Horse!, La Luna, and For the Birds in the film festival. The collection was amazing! Not only were the films extremely entertaining, but the 3D was smoother than any I've seen before. Our last stop was Club Cool for cold soda before a last minute detour to the Magic Kingdom. George headed to the resort to grab the rider switch passes, while we did a little shopping at Mouse Gear and took the monorail and ferry to the park. Everybody met up at the Main Street Confectionery to watch candied apples being made, and Liên selected dates for Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, and my favorite, Splash Mountain. Mom took the kids home to nap during the last ride, and I was close on her tail. George and Liên stayed in the park to meet Tinkerbell, as George had been planning to ask her about the possibility of a future Tinkerbell movie for several months. It sounds like I'm joking, but I'm not.
Dinner was a buffet at Chef Mickey's, where we met Mickey, Pluto, and Minnie. Milli thought this was very exciting, and particularly loved Pluto. George and I were surprised, considering the very rude behavior she displayed during her encounters with the princesses. We returned to the Animal Kingdom for the Kali River Rapids and caught the singles line for Expedition Everest again on our way to the Festival of the Lion King. We lucked out with front row seating, and Drakeson was invited to help teach all four sections of the arena stage how to do the hand jive. Part of me was irritated that he pouted and acted shy in front of everyone, but the other part of me understood completely. We rode Kilimanjaro Safaris in the dark and saw the current night show, The Jungle Book: Alive with Magic. There were mixed reviews of the show, but it was hardly a bad way to end the evening. On our way out, the Tree of Life came to life in an animated show called Nighttime Awakenings. It was approaching midnight again, and we were more than ready for bed.

Bruce

Film Festival

Splash Mountain

Tink

Chef Mickey

Animal Kingdom

Drakeson, George, and Milli teaching the Hand Jive at the Lion King

Friday, 29 Jul 16: Hollywood Studios, Epcot, & Magic Kingdom
We slept in again, but made it to Hollywood Studios by 10. Hollywood Studios has been entirely taken over by Star Wars. The last two years it had been ruled by Frozen, so we were surprised to learn that a good section of the park had been walled off for additional Star Wars attractions in development. Mom and I did a little shopping while everybody else stayed central to see the March of the First Order. We met up for the shows Voyage of the Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast - Live on Stage, Star Wars: Path of the Jedi, and Muppet Vision 3D before George and I took the kids back to nap. Star Wars: Path of the Jedi is nothing more than a montage that Liên and I really could have done without. Because we had missed our window for Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular!, Mom and Liên stayed for its next showing and filled in the time with The Great Movie Ride.
Our first ride in Epcot was Test Track, which was so scary for Drakeson that he peed in his pants. We grabbed a rider switch pass for George and moved on. Things settled down a bit with beer, entertainment, dancing, and a filling buffet at the Biergarten Restaurant with Warren's family. The classic Spaceship Earth was our next destination, followed by pictures at Meet Disney Pals at the Epcot Character Spot, and we ended our Epcot evening with my favorite fireworks show, Illuminations: Reflections of Earth. The park closed at 21:00, so we had a couple hours to make another run to the Magic Kingdom for a great close-up view of Wishes Nighttime Spectacular, George's favorite baby ride (Haunted Mansion), mine (Peter Pan's Flight), and of course the Main Street Electrical Parade.

Muppet Fountain

Ladies in Pink

Outside the Biergarten

Spaceship Earth

Mickey

Milli Loves Goofy

Goofy loves Mom

Milli Loves Minnie

Minnie loves the wrong photographer

Monorail in a Storm

Past Bedtime

Cinderella Castle

Saturday, 30 Jul 16: Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Animal Kingdom, & Hollywood Studios
The plan was to sleep in on Saturday, but since the kids were up, we arrived at the Magic Kingdom at 8:00 sharp instead. We crushed it in a fury of Splash Mountain, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, It's a Small World, Haunted Mansion, and Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin before running to the Animal Kingdom so Liên could see the shows Flights of Wonder and Finding Nemo - The Musical. Because it's one of the best rollercoasters in all the parks, we used the singles line once again for Expedition Everest between the two shows. George and Mom ran to Epcot for Test Track while Liên and I took the kids home to crash.
Our last night at the parks was a big one. We met Warren and his family for an extravagant dinner at The Hollywood Brown Derby, and proceeded to two of the best rides in Hollywood Studios: Toy Story Mania! and The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. I was a good Mommy this time, and refrained from forcing Drakeson onto the The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. The ride Star Tours - The Adventures Continue and the parade Star Wars - A Galaxy Far, Far Away kept us entertained until the phenomenal closing show Fantasmic! We caught the fireworks show, Star Wars: A Galactic Spectacular, on our way back to the resort.
It was 10:30, and Mom and Liên called it a night. George and I took the kids and darted back to the Magic Kingdom so Drakeson could drive in the Tomorrowland Speedway with George. Little Milli, asleep in the front carrier, had a special date with me on the Tomorrowland Transit Authority PeopleMover while the park closed down at 23:00. It was a very sweet ending to a whirlwind of activity, and we were happy to catch the Main Street Electrical Parade for the third time on our way out.

Splash Mountain

Flights of Wonder

Expedition Everest

Brown Derby

Cousins

Star Wars

Cô Liên

Maleficent

Steamboat Willie

Sunday, 31 Jul 16: Typhoon Lagoon
Typhoon Lagoon is always my favorite part of our Disney vacations, and this year was no exception. We played in the Typhoon Lagoon Surf Pool, rode on the Storm Slides, relaxed in the Castaway Creek, and ended where we began. One way this year was different from the previous was the addition of my sister. I think she started falling for Disney during Epcot's fireworks show, Illuminations: Reflections of Earth, which is entirely understandable. Her favorite ride was the same as Mom's, The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. Liên stayed in Austin for an extra day afterwards, and hit it off really well with Drakeson. He missed her the moment he realized she left, and called her in the airport to ask if she could come "home" for Christmas and his birthday. Another big change this year was baby Milli. Milli did her fair share of screaming, but I was the biggest baby of the bunch with my ridiculous medical emergency. Next year's conference starts July 27th, and I can't wait to see the changes. Milli will be old enough to notice she's on rides, and Drakeson will probably enjoy the roller coasters he can walk onto without foam inserts. I won't be walking around with MRSA infected viral lesions, all our dreams will come true, and we will experience the magic.