28 August 2024

The Hatter's Tea 2024








This year is different.
You are the performers, celebrating a work in progress with Your Hatter.
For some short hours, Wonderland will settle upon Snake Mountain instead of Tileton Abbey.
In Wonderland, you can sing badly and I can play badly, and it will still be grand.
We know this because in all the films that record the Wonderlands, that's what happens.

I've ordered myself an enormous plum felt Victorian top hat!
And it was the right year to do it; I happen to be 42 years old in the year 2024.
Carroll liked 42 and 24.  Gardener can tell you a lot more about that, but
1.  The Red King's Rule Forty-Two: All persons more than a mile high to leave the court.
2.  Alice is 7 years and 6 months old in the second book (7 x 6 = 42).
3.  The White King sends 4,207 horses and men to restore Humpty Dumpty.
4.  There are 42 illustrations in the first book.
5.  Each of the two Alice books has 12 chapters for a total of 24.
6.  42 is 24 backwards.

Let's talk more about my hat!
My hat did not cost exactly 10 shillings and 6 pence, and I know this because:
2 farthings = 1 ha'penny
2 ha'pennies = 1 penny (in pricing, these are pence)
3 pennies = 1 thre'penny bit
2 thre'penny bits = 1 sixpence
2 sixpences = 1 shilling
2 shillings = 1 florin
5 shillings = 1 crown
2 halfcrowns = 1 crown
2 crowns = 10 shilling note
2 10 shilling notes = 1 pound
So in pounds, 10 shillings and 6 pence would be:
[1/2] (for the shillings) + [(1/2)(1/2)(1/5)(1/2)] (for the pennies) of a pound, or .525 pounds.
Adjusting for inflation from 1865, that would be $70.24 today.
There's no further point to that - I just correctly assumed it was fascinating.

I've only composed one new song for you to sing - The Mouse's Tale.
But I've also restructured the Outgrabe project into an Alice project with the following sections:
I. Outgrabe
II. Stuff & Nonsense
III. Bookend Songs
This year, we'll also sing songs I did not compose:
IV. The Victorian Singalongs

One of these Victorian Singalongs is not new to us this year, and I had previously called it "A-Sitting On A Gate."  Here's an excerpt from Book II, Chapter 8.
"You are sad," the Knight said in an anxious tone: "let me sing you a song to comfort you."
"Is it very long?" Alice asked, for she had heard a good deal of poetry that day.
"It’s long," said the Knight, "but very, very beautiful.
Everybody that hears me sing it—either it brings the tears into their eyes, or else—"
"Or else what?" said Alice, for the Knight had made a sudden pause.
"Or else it doesn’t, you know.  The name of the song is called 'Haddocks’ Eyes.'"
"Oh, that’s the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested.
"No, you don’t understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed.
"That’s what the name is called.  The name really is 'The Aged Aged Man.'"
"Then I ought to have said 'That’s what the song is called'?" Alice corrected herself.
"No, you oughtn’t: that’s quite another thing!
The song is called 'Ways and Means' but that’s only what it’s called, you know!"
"Well, what is the song, then?" said Alice, who was by this time completely bewildered.
"I was coming to that," the Knight said.
"The song really is 'A-sitting On A Gate': and the tune’s my own invention."
...
"But the tune isn’t his own invention," she said to herself:
"it’s 'I give thee all, I can no more.’"
She stood and listened very attentively, but no tears came into her eyes.

You can see why I can't compose this song.  Not only does Alice recognize the melody, but the title of the entire chapter is "It's My Own Invention."  I initially called it "A-sitting On A Gate," because that's what the song really is.  But this year, I revised that and decided to call it "The Aged Aged Man," because that's what the name really is.  The other five singalongs are not essential to this body of work, and I cannot predict whether or not they will materialize in a future Wonderland.

Another edit worth mention is that I have changed the types of quotations, the types of hyphens, and the spacing of hyphens in Outgrabe.  Before, I was using Lenny De Rooy's wonderful Alice website (https://www.alice-in-wonderland.net/) as my main resource, which uses the punctuation of The Gutenberg project, and I decided that as a Hatter with a Real Hat, I no longer had the tolerance.

07 Oct 2024
What a fantastic time we all had!
Carles Marti Wood Mold

Annotated

Lien Kratzke

Wonderland

Down the Rabbit Hole

The Hatter

In a Tea Cup

Strawberry Basil Tart

Treacle Bundt

Tea Time

The White Rabbit's Veggie Tray

The Mouse's Cheeseboard

I told you butter wouldn’t suit the works!
It was the best butter

The Spread

The Menu

The Drink Menu

The Drinks

The Bar

The Tea

Jabber ate Humpty

Beautiful Soup

Two Queens

Three Queens

Oyster & 5 of Spades

March Hare

Dr. Mallard!

The White Rabbit

The Hat

Loving My Hat

Part I

Part II

Part III

17 August 2024

The Victorian Singalongs

In my Stuff and Nonsense post, I explained that there are 24 poems in the Alice books.  One of these poems was already meant for a specific tune recognized by Alice, so I couldn't actually compose that one, but I'm setting the remaining 23 (including A Wasp in a Wig) to music.  This is the correct way to think about the entire set.

But there just happens to be another way to think about it.
Yesterday, August 16th, the Cheshire and I decided that this year would be a singalong tea party.  That means that Outgrabe 2022 was the debut performance, Outgrabe 2023 was a lecture recital for the Mallards with the introduction of A Boat; and Outgrabe 2024 will be a singalong that introduces The Mouse's Tale.

Because of that, I'm going to begin copying five additional singalong scores.  The chapter on discovering those scores are in the Stuff and Nonsense post under the section, "Origin Poetry Scores," which is settled between "Nursery Rhymes Score Gallery" and "Picture Gallery."  It's a lot of scrolling, I know.
To elaborate, these were tunes written by the Victorian era, not necessarily during the Victorian era.  In other words, they were potentially popular in the Victorian era!  And the poetry was popular.  So popular, in fact, that Carroll parodied them, knowing that the originals would be recognized.

Queen Victoria (1819-1901) was the Queen of the UK and Ireland from 1837 to 1901.  Lewis Carroll was born in 1832 and died in 1898, so his life spans the Victorian era beautifully.
To reiterate, none of the Victorian Singalongs are composed by me.  The plan is to copy the scores but insert Carroll's lyrics.  The only arranging necessary, for the most part, is for me to make sure the right number of stanzas are present.  I don't claim to do no editing, but I do try to stay out of it.

Here's a relevant quote from Martin Gardeners's Annotated Alice:
In a letter (1886) to Henry Savile Clarke, who adapted the Alice books to the stage operetta, Carroll urged that his songs that parodied old nursery rhymes be sung to the traditional tunes, not set to new music. He singled out this song in particular.  "It would take a very good composer to write anything better than the old sweet air of 'Will you walk into my parlor, said the Spider to the Fly.'"

The song based on The Spider and the Fly, which is The Lobster Quadrille, replaced an earlier parody also recited by the Mock Turtle in the original manuscript.  The tune associated with that poem was a minstrel song called Sally Come Up, which was set to music by Frederick Buckley in 1862 or E. W. Mackney in 1863.  Both scores are in E♭ and sound similar.

I may not be a "very good composer," or I may be, but either way the intro to The Lobster Quadrille is this:
So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their fore-paws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly:
And guess what?  "The Spider and the Fly" really does not work with that.  That means it makes perfect sense for me to compose a solemn, slow, and sad version of The Lobster Quadrille, as well as the Victorian Singalong.  In fact, it's practically necessary.

Because I'm condensing six Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes into one Mother Goose Suite, but adding five more singalong scores, it's nothing but coincidence that we can include all of these new arrangements into some bizarre compilation and still end up with a set of 24!  Look!

6 Victorian Singalongs
    The Duchess' Lullaby
    The Lobster Quadrille
    Turtle Soup
    The White Rabbit's Evidence
    The Aged Aged Man (tune recognized by Alice)
    To The Looking-Glass World
7 Outgrabes
    How Doth the Little Crocodile
    You are Old, Father William
    'Tis the Voice of the Lobster
    Turtle Soup
    Jabberwocky
    The Walrus and the Carpenter
    To the Looking-Glass World
7 Stuffs & Nonsenses
    The Mouse's Tale
    The Duchess' Lullaby
    The Lobster Quadrille
    The White Rabbit's Evidence
    Humpty Dumpty's Poem
    The White Queen's Riddle
    Mother Goose Suite:
        Twinkle
        Queen of Hearts
        Tweedles
        Humpty
        Lion & Unicorn
        Red Queen's Lullaby
        Mulberry Bush
4 Bookends
    All in the Golden Afternoon
    Child of the Pure Unclouded Brow
    A Wasp in a Wig (Unpublished)
    A Boat Beneath a Sunny Sky

15 August 2024

efoodhandlers

In September of 2021, I got my food handling training from efoodhandlers.com.
Then I wrote a post about what I learned.  I read that post on the flight back home from Hawaii three days ago, which made it very easy for me to get this new one.
A couple new notes for 2024.
The five major causes of foodborne illness are poor hygiene, food from unsafe sources, inadequate cooking, food held at unsafe temperatures, and contaminated equipment.

Major food allergens are milk, eggs, wheat, tree nuts, peanuts, soybeans, fish, shellfish, and SESAME.
Sesame is new.

If you're doing something for four hours or more, you have to make everything clean.
So throw out your disposable gloves and clean your cutting board and knife, etc.

Here's a quick temperature chart.
135° - any food that will be hot held not in any other categories
145° - whole seafood, beef, pork, veal, lamb, and roasts; eggs that will be served immediately
155° - ground, injected, marinated, or tenderized meats; eggs that will be hot held
165° - chicken, turkey, duck fowl, stuffing made with meat, stuffed pasta, casseroles

Pop Quiz: What's an example of intact meat?
Answer: Anything that isn't ground.  With the exception of poultry, these must be cooked to 145°.
Pop Quiz: If you are peeling potatoes for 5 hours, do you need to stop and wash your peeler?
Answer: Yes.
Pop Quiz: What's the new allergy?
Answer: Sesame.

Here's the original post, in case I'm doing this again in 2 years.
--------------------------------------------------------------11 SEP 2021--------------------------------------------------------------
Just in case you don't want to go to txfoodhandlers.com and pay the $7.95 + $2.05 to get your very own TX Food Handler's Card, but you really want to know what they teach you, I thought I'd summarize the course here.

Chapter 1: The Importance of Food Safety
Every year in this country, 48 million people get sick, 128K get hospitalized, and 3K people die from foodborne illnesses.   So "the importance of food safety" is to NOT make people sick and die.
A "highly susceptible population" refers to young children, the elderly, pregnant women, and people who have illnesses that have weakened their immune systems; this population has a higher risk of contracting foodborne illnesses, so stricter rules regarding food preparation can apply.

The hazards that cause foodborne illnesses are biological, chemical, and physical.
The three most common biological hazards are salmonella, E. coli, and norovirus.  Salmonella lives in the intestines, and can come from fruits and vegetables or undercooked eggs and meats.  Symptoms include fever, diarrhea, and vomiting. E. coli lives in the intestines as well, and can come from undercooked meats and unpasteurized milk.  Symptoms include severe diarrhea and kidney damage.
Norovirus is the most common form of foodborne illness, and it's often called "food poisoning" or the "stomach flu."  Symptoms include diarrhea, vomiting, and stomach pain.
If you have have suffered from vomiting, diarrhea, fever and sore throat, or jaundice in the last 24 hours, please don't go to work.

To elaborate, the "Big 6 Illnesses" are:
    Nontyphoidal Salmonella
    Salmonella Typhi
    Shigella
    Shiga Toxin Producing E. Coli
    Hepatitis A
    Norovirus

Chemical hazards and physical hazards really shouldn't happen, but they certainly will if you add pesticides, soaps, sanitizers, fingernails, and metal screws to your food.

The most common food allergies are milk, soy, eggs, wheat, nuts, peanuts, fish, and shellfish.  In this country, these allergies send someone to the ER every 3 minutes.  Some food allergy reactions include tingling sensations, hives, swelling of the mouth or throat, difficulty breathing, and loss of consciousness.   Please tell a P.I.C., or a "Person In Charge" if a person in your facility has lost consciousness.  That way, we can keep each other safe.
And if you are the P.I.C., please tell yourself about what has happened.

Pop Quiz: Which of the three common biological hazards cause sever diarrhea?
Answer: Tricky! Severe diarrhea goes along with kidney damage, and those are associated with E. coli.
Pop Quiz: Why the hell did the course start talking about jaundice?
Answer: I really don't know, but I agree that you should stay home from work if you are suddenly the wrong color.

Chapter 2: Health & Hygiene
70% of all foodborne illnesses are caused by improper hand washing.  (But really, they're probably caused by a lack of hand washing, right?) In addition to washing your hands, trim your fingernails, keep your hair restrained, wear proper clothing, and always cover cuts and burns.
Wash your hands after using the restroom.  Then wash again when you get to the kitchen, but not in the kitchen sink - only in the hand washing sink that's in the kitchen.  This is called a "double hand washing," and it's super cool.
Washing your hands requires five steps.  Wash your hands without soap.  Wash your hands with soap for 20 seconds.  Continue washing your hands with soap to get into all the places on your hands that you couldn't find in the first 20 seconds.  Wash your hands without soap.  Dry your hands with a paper towel, but not a reusable towel.  Towels are not appropriate for drying hands or dishes.
Wash your hands before you begin food preparation; when you have touched your face or nose or any other human body part; after you have sneezed, coughed, or blown your nose; after handling raw meat, fish, or poultry; after handling dirty dishes or garbage; after handling animals, money, or chemicals; after taking a break; after eating; and after smoking.  Also wash your hands "when you have been contaminated by exposure to potential germs."

After you have washed your hands, use barriers to protect food, such as gloves, utensils, and tongs.  Wash your hands after removing gloves.
Jewelry and personal items such as your phone or purse should be kept away from you in a designated employee area.  Simple rings, such as wedding bands, may be worn under disposable gloves.
If you'd like a recipe for sanitizer, mix 1/3 C bleach with a gallon of water.  You can also use an alcohol solution that is 70% alcohol or higher.

Pop Quiz: Can you ever not be washing your hands?
Answer: Germs are everywhere, so potential germs might as well live in the fourth and fifth dimensions.  So you can take a break from washing your hands if your bakery is in the sixth dimension, but then wash your hands, because we always wash our hands after taking a break.
Pop Quiz: Are towels appropriate?
Answer: Towels are not appropriate.
Pop Quiz: I don't have disposable gloves.  Where should I put my wedding band?
Answer: In a designated employee area very far away from you.

Chapter 3: Temperature Control
Keep cold foods at or below 41° F (cold holding) and hot foods at or above 135° F (hot holding).
In fact, 42-134° F is called THE DANGER ZONE.

Foods that are very temperature-sensitive are meat, fish, poultry, seafood, eggs, and milk.  Other foods that must also avoid the danger zone are rice, beans, pasta, potatoes, cooked vegetables, tofu, sprouts, melons, and garlic and herbs in oil.  If temperature-sensitive foods have been left out for more than 4 hours, throw them away.
That's a lot of garlic and herbs in oil that ought to be thrown away.

Seafood, pork, and beef steaks must be cooked to 145 for 15 seconds, roasts to 145 for 4 minutes, ground meat to 155 for 17 seconds, and poultry to 165 for 1 second.  Eggs for immediate service must be cooked to 145 for 15 seconds.  Eggs for later service, however, must be cooked to 155 for 17 seconds and then held at 135.  Memorize that, but only in your short-term memory if you're like me and just trying to bake a cupcake.

Thawing Frozen Foods
The safest way to thaw frozen foods is to store them in a refrigerator.  It is also acceptable to place frozen foods under running water that is 70 or colder.  Don't try to heat frozen foods up quickly, as this can lead to some areas being suspended in the danger zone.

Reheating Cold Foods
It is always important to move through the danger zone as quickly as possible.   Food must be reheated to 165 for 15 seconds within 2 hours before being put onto a preheated steam table held at 135.

Cooling Down Hot Foods
Again, the goal is to move through the danger zone as quickly as possible.  To cool down hot foods quickly, cut the food into smaller pieces and place in shallow pans.  Food can either be placed in the refrigerator or stored in containers that are placed in an ice bath.  Food must cool to 70° within 2 hours and cool from 70° to 41° within the next 4 hours for a total cooling period of 6 hours or less.  These specifics are known as the "time and temperature method."

Pop Quiz: If temperature sensitive foods have been left out for 3 hours and 59 minutes, are they safe to consume?
Answer: Yes.  They are also safe to consume at 4 hours. But not one millisecond after that.

Chapter 4: Avoiding Cross-Contamination
Cross-contamination is caused by the spread of bacteria from one food or surface to another.  Never place cooked food on a surface that has previously held raw meat, poultry, seafood, or eggs.  Always keep vegetables and meats separate, use separate cutting boards for each, and always wash your hands after handling raw meat.

Store ready-to-eat food on the top shelf, then raw fish, then raw meat, then raw ground meat, and then raw poultry.  In other words, rank foods by their minimum internal temperature requirements, with the highest temperature at the bottom.
Similarly, store cleaning chemicals in a non-food designated area on the bottom shelf.

To wash dishes, simply turn to your handy three sink set-up.  Wash with hot soapy water in the first sink, rinse with clean hot water in the second sink, and sanitize in warm water and an approved sanitizer in the third.
Store bowls upside down and utensils and dishes at least 6 inches off the ground.

And remember, prevention is the most effective way to keep your kitchen pest-free.

Pop Quiz: Can you wash dishes by hand if you don't have three sinks?
Answer: No.
Pop Quiz: What should you do if you have pests?
Answer: And remember, prevention is the most effective way to keep your kitchen pest-free.

Chapter 5: Safe Food Sources (Optional Content)
Meat, poultry, and dairy must be inspected by the USDA or the Department of Agriculture, and food establishments may only serve food from a source that is approved by the local health department.

Before accepting food deliveries, food must be inspected by a designated person at the food establishment.  This person inspects for mold or extreme bruising on fruits and vegetables; signs of spoiling on meat; opened, rusty, or severely damaged canned goods; and danger zone temperatures.

Pop Quiz: Does this matter to a home baker?
Answer: No.  That's why it was optional.

Chapter 6: Food Worker's Top 10
A better name for this chapter would be "Review."

Only work if you're healthy.
Wash hands thoroughly and often.
Don't touch ready-to-eat foods with bare hands.
Keep food at or below 41°, or at or above 135°.
Cook foods to proper temperatures before serving.
Cool hot food as quickly as possible, and cool from 135 to 41 within 6 hours.
Keep raw meat away from other foods.
Always follow these steps for cleaning: wash, rinse, sanitize, air dry.
Keep food prep areas clean and sanitized.
Always ask your PIC questions you may have regarding food safety.

Pop Quiz: What would be a better name for this chapter?
Answer: "Review."

Not to brag, but I passed with honors. And now you can, too.

03 August 2024

Baking Post Links

I don't really know how I "got into baking," but because I like to write about the things I'm thinking about, my blog documented it all for me.

First, I love the fall, so I started making lots of pumpkin bread and wanted to line a pan.
How to Line a Bread Pan (29 Sep 2019)

Then I wanted to make checkerboard cake because nobody does that anymore, and I found a math problem.
Checkerboard Cake Volume Ratios (12 Oct 2019)

Then half a year later we went to Buc-ee's, and George spent too much money on fudge.
So I decided to learn how to make fudge, and it was tricky.
Chocolate Fudge (16 Mar 2020)

Then my son wanted sugar cookies for his 7th birthday, and I made some, and they "failed to meet expectations." So when my daughter wanted sugar cookies the same year for her 5th birthday, I had to do some research.
Royal Icing (09 Oct 2020)

Then I decided I didn't know enough to follow The Great British Bake Off, so I wrote a little series.
The Six Buttercreams 1/4 (20 Jan 2021)
More Frostings and Fillings 2/4 (23 Jan 2021)
How to Frost a Layered Cake: Intermission (31 Jan 2021)
Cakes 3/4 (09 Feb 2021)
Pastry 4/4 (09 Feb 2021)

Then I bought a piping tip set, probably just because google spies on us and advertised it or something like that, and I didn't know how to use it.
Wilton's 55 Piece Piping Tip Set (21 Jul 2021)

Then a couple weeks later on August 5th, I made the birthday cake for my friend, and that became the first post here, #LanLovett: The Beginning.

Those all seemed like pretty normal things to do, right? Like, they weren't working towards a goal, I don't think, so maybe it's all in the piping tip set. Maybe if you buy one and want to know how to use it, you might make your friend a birthday cake and accidentally open up a home bakery the next month, especially if you like watching The Great British Bake Off.




That's where this post ended; it was originally posted on Wix on 07 Sep 2022.
I would also write up a Sugar Cookie post and another Frosting post.

By September, I had opened my Wix site, Facebook, Instagram, and Venmo page.
In May, I became "the cookie lady" for the Blue Genie Art Bazaar's May Market.
Yesterday, I received a notification that my Texas Food Handler's Certificate will expire soon.  It would only cost me $5 to renew it for another 3 years, but I'm on the fence.  This could be the end of the bakehouse (Aug 2024).
Meanwhile, my 2024 self would like to add one more thing.  I think my interest in baking ultimately came down to the tradition of making pumpkin pies with Dr. Betty Mallard.  Making pie crust is not easy, and I found that once I was able to make a pie I liked, I felt like I could do anything.  Drakeson is entering middle school in less than two weeks, and I'm feeling like giving up one of my hobbies would be better for our schedule.  Food handler's certificate or not, I'm making Nesselrode Pie this year with my friend Phara in November - the only month that Central Market carries fresh chestnuts.