It was such a short time, but each moment was so important. For this reason, my memories have broken themselves up into distinct episodes. I'll record them that way.
Dad picked us up from the airport, and we stopped next door at the Edmonds Ferry. Dad chased after Drakeson as he got dirty and wet, leading them both in an imaginary fishing expedition. When Milli understood that the ferry could carry 200 cars over water, she was amazed. Drakeson, on the other hand, was too busy with the expedition to pay much attention to the ferry at all.
We returned to Aunt Mary's house, where we were lovingly greeted by Grandpa, Uncle Dave, Aunt Mary, Emily, and Jessica. Grandpa asked Drakeson and Milli all about their favorite activities and admired Milli's hair. He was happy to take their hugs and kisses, and he didn't mind me taking pictures in the least. The reunion of a 96 year old man and his 6 and 3 year old great-grandchildren was heartwarming to say the least.
A little later on, he was having some difficulty speaking, so he placed a piece of paper in my hands. Upon examination, I realized that it was a program for his memorial service, all planned out. When I told him I would love to play for it, his face lit up. Although he was very tired, he was sharp as ever and had no trouble making jokes.
Emily and Jessica were preparing dinner for the party that evening, and I helped them with the fruit salad. Before long, they were busy giving the kids all the attention in the world, taking them outside to play with beanbags and blocks. Dad wheeled Grandpa out to the front facing windows, where he watched his grandchildren play with his great-grandchildren all afternoon. Grandpa dozed off several times but stayed in high spirits, mentioning his "good tickets" and "the best seats in the house."
The kids and I were exhausted, so we went to Aunt Myla's for a nap before the party. When we returned, Aunt Patti, Uncle Wendel, and Aunt Irene had joined Aunt Mary, Uncle Dave, Aunt Myla, Dad, and Grandpa. It wasn't long before Maddie, Matt, Erik & Lindsey, and Karl arrived. Dinner ended with two birthday cakes and everybody singing "Happy Birthday" to Emily and me.
Shortly afterwards, Grandpa lost consciousness. My generation, the kids, and Aunt Myla came back to her house to watch Toy Story 2 and chat as the rest got sorted out. My cousins are so easy to be around; we were all shaken up, but thankful for each other's company. Grandpa was doing better, so we came back to say goodnight. Drakeson and Milli gave him kisses.
We slept soundly. In the morning, I texted Dad.
6:30 Who's up over there?
6:31 Not sure. I think Dave is. Mary is probably working. I'm going to go check on Dad.
6:32 Okay. We'll get dressed, and you tell us when to come over then.
6:59 Mary and I think that Dad passed in the night. I called George to ask for additional tests.
Hospice is sending out the nurse now to confirm.
And just like that, I had lost my grandpa.
It was so fast. It was both painfully disorienting and unarguably perfect. Dad said, "It couldn't be better. It couldn't be worse, but it couldn't be better." I think that's how all of us felt. Grandpa didn't want to hold on, and nobody wanted him to suffer. He was surrounded by the people who loved him the most, and he was more ready to go than we were ready to let him.
The kids and I came over anyway. The kids wanted to see him - to touch his arm and say goodbye one last time. Little Milli insisted. She led the way to his room.
Dad and I retreated to his room, and he told me that Grandpa wanted me to have two cloth crosses. The first was a yellow cross with a crown, and for over a generation, this was kept under a plane of glass on the coffee table in Grandma and Grandpa's house. The second was a pink embroidered cross that Grandma used to hold onto after her stroke.
Uncle Dave started making pancakes. A prolonged brunch including eggs, coffee, cake, fruit, and milk emerged from nowhere. My dad's generation were all in a fog, trying to make the right phone calls, choose the right clothes, deal with the funeral home, get the right forms, make the right check lists, and discuss the legal matters. They were probably talking in circles, but more than anything, they were thankful to be together. It was not unlike my generation from the night before.
Emily, Jessica, and Erik came over. Somehow we were able to make the most of our time together and play with the kids. We were back to the lawn games and the running around, and in a few short hours, it was time to go.
I asked Drakeson if he'd like to play piano for Dad, and he did. Not one to be shy, he invited my generation to Aunt Myla's house to listen to his concert. Milli, not wanting to be left out, pretended to perform twice. Drakeson ended with one of Emily's favorite melodies, "Simple Gifts."
On the way to the airport, Dad commented on how much dignity Grandpa had. He pointed out the fact that Grandpa even had dignity about losing his dignity, meaning that Grandpa was cooperative, gentle, and understanding even through the process of his body requiring more assistance. Incredible. What a way to be. What a graceful way to make an exit.
My grandmother had always emphasized Grandpa's place as the patriarch of the Kratzke family, a Christian leader, and a real patriot. Behind those titles, however, was a truly smart, brave, strong, and loving man. He worked hard to build the family that mourns his loss, and I'm so thankful to be a part of it. I'm happy that my aunts, uncles, and cousins are who they are. Aunt Mary put it well: "You can't make a movie better than this."
Grandpa
AWKRATZKE
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